So why am I writing about this? And why am I reading about it?
Well I pointed out at the beginning of my blogging experiment that I want to shed some demons, eliminate shortcoming and do some self-therapy. And this entry is self-therapy. I had run-ins with bullies when I was a kid. It was no more than 2-3 guys at a time. But I was more afraid of getting in trouble at school (and at home thereafter) than I was willing to stand-up to the mini mafia. I had a freeze mechanism that was engrained into my psyche. It was engrained by my mother, my grandparents and by the "turn the other cheek...don't return bad with bad" religious doctrine crap that was fed to me every Sunday and Wednesday. Now I am not saying that everything that I learned in church was useless or feces. In fact I hold many things to be constant values in my daily life (even now). But in this regard (bitter giggle) the teachings created a soft kid who needed to have an encouraged backbone.
I ask you. Does this look like the face of a man that grew up without a backbone? One would not think so (atleast I like to believe that is the case).
I can use words. I can use my intellect to a pretty strong degree when necessary. My work experience has been good to me with regard to formulating arguments, finding win-win situations and making things happen without a need for self-defense. But the fact remains that not everything in the world can be solved with words. And the person most prepared, fasted to smart reaction and possessing the biggest will wins out almost every time. My brother-in-law would say it like this: "It's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog."
So what's next? I am training my mind; I should give the same purpose to my instinct and body. A belief that everything can be solved without a physical need is a blind, lying belief. It's not reality. J-Double-D is committing to believing and living in reality. Do I want to be a fighter? No. But do I want to know that I can be as swift with my body as I can be with my mind (when the need presents)? You're damn right I do.
Cheers friends.
J
I am right there with you. I grew up with much the same mentality...being more afraid of getting in trouble at school and home than properly defending myself in certain situations I found myself in. It wasn't a lack of will on my part, but a shortcoming in the way I was raised. The lesson taught was sound, but the reality of what I would be facing outside my home was not something I was properly prepared for. This led to a lot of frustration and perceived helplessness. It also led to a sharpening of my sense of humor, being that was my primary defense (and weapon) in such instances. I often wonder if I had been given the mental prep and permission to properly defend myself when I was younger, if it would have led to a more confident and driven adult today.
ReplyDeletebtw...what's all this have to do with Krav Maga? Are we to infer that the training to your instinct and body is going to take form in Krav Maga lessons?